<Sweet Source>

Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Friday, September 12, 2008

LAVENDER DAYDREAMS...

So at first I wasn't going to blog about this but it really is driving me crazy. I've tried to ignore this wanting because I know it's not the right time, every thing is not in place as I envisioned it, my money is NOT quite ready like I would like, I am not where I would want to be in my life yet. MY MOTHER WOULD KILL ME!! But even with all these reminders of how much I need to forget about this it's really burning me UP!

For the past few months I've dreamt about and thought about having a lil one.

It doesn't help that the Mr wants one too and my brother and best friends keep telling me how great a mom i would be {and they have no clue i'm thinking about this}. One of my oldest friends is expecting her first child in December and I promised to be there all the way and while if this were to happen any other time I would be there, at this point i think if i'm just around a lil one it may ease these desires. But planning the shower, picking out gifts, the cake, and outfits for her lil girl just warms me up. How I know I'm losing it??? i'm even excited about the stroller, wipe warmer, and leap frog products LMAO!! Anyway, she's not where she would want to be in life right now, not married or finished with school and i see how hard it will be but she's home with her mom who is a really loving and thoughtful person naturally so she'll have GREAT help and I'm always ready to babysit and the father lives on her block. I know that if it were to happen now my mother would be pissed but come around but do i really want to be living with my mom when i have a baby? I NEED to be some one's wife before i even think of it. He needs to be able to run everything when i can't and he still has 2 years left in school.
But I really have no fear of it, i actually want to feel my stomach swell, i look forward to the kicks and movements of a lil one, i can't wait to teach my lil girls the things i wish someone taught me, show my lil men how a lady is supposed to act and be treated, pass on the lessons i have picked up along the way ::sigh::...DAYDREAMIN ON LAVENDER

but i'm gonna keep reminding myself it's not the right time and suppress this until it is...it's crazy yall lol

posted by DSweet1 @ Friday, September 12, 2008

2 Comments:

At 4:35 AM, Tranquility826 said…

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....ME TOO!!! Working on my floor doesn't help it one bit..but once the daydream begins, I make sure to leave it at work!! lol..lol..
At 5:54 PM, poyesha said…

lolololol i know exactly what you mean.. ive been wanting one since like march but reality always slaps me n the face like fool marriage first cuz i refuse to be a baby momma wit these dumb niggas out here.. n any case, get a puppy!!! lol