<Sweet Source>

Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Monday, August 17, 2009

UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

So today's my due date and I'm still here-fat, hot, and pregnant! with no sign that he'll be makin his way out today :-(. I mean really you've been in there for NINE months, don't you want a change of scenery??? lol Honestly I hope he comes this week I'm really uncomfortable and tired!

I think I've found out what one of my biggest problem is: I try to make EVERYONE a friend. People I meet at work, school, or community service-if we have a series of some-what serious convos then I assume that the same loyalty I'd give them, they'd give me and then when they fail I'm the one with bruised feelings and this MUST stop! What's sad is the Mr is sooooo much more ignorant then I am when it comes to people and yet EVERYONE loves him and say I'm the mean one lol. Honestly, if I don't consider you my friend then I tend to look at you side ways if you try to get too close too soon, so I kinda understand where the "mean" might come from. It takes me a while to warm up to people, yes but when I do I think I over think it too much and give them an expectation that they don't necessarily deserve.
My god-mom always says its the Pisces in me that makes me act this way but I gotta change it. I give and will do for others and then when its my turn they got all the excuses in the world. We're working on me stopping this but in all honesty it really is hard for me to see someone in need, even if they don't ask, and not help; or celebrate with someone during an eventful time in their lives. I used to lie A LOT as a kid, it really was a problem :-x, but I think while I stopped lyin to everyone I started lying to myself and that's sad.
So I guess I gotta re-evaluate a few things and put people and situations in their rightful place. I've started with some and its been kinda easy, some say harsh but there really is no other way to eliminate toxic people or situations than just choppin it clear off, but I hate it when I feel like people are discussing me :-(. But OH WELL, we'll see how this works. I might have to be friendless for a little while, while I work the kinks out but I should be fine.

Hoping for a quick delivery some time soon!
CNJones, C-PA

posted by DSweet1 @ Monday, August 17, 2009

1 Comments:

At 2:42 PM, poyesha said…

couldnt have said it better sista. i was just tellin jen this shit the other day