<Sweet Source>

Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

IT'S BEEN A WHILE

Dang I ain't write in so long and have pissed off a few people because of it...LOL
Too many things have weighed me down for such a long time...school, work, scholarships, my family, my future, my walk, my conscience, other people's thoughts, my heart, my pride, my health...and the scary part is I could go on.
There is alot on my plate right now and for the first time I can't work it out myself...I went to this service a year ago and the pastor is a seer and he said this will be the time in my life where I'm gonna have to rely on the Lord like neva before and I thought that was concerning my heart at that time but now I'm seeing it's this entire season...Lord I ain't neva leaned on You like this before but God I'm on such a gangsta lean right now lol.
I'm not a saint by SO FAR but I've done well but I've also slipped up bad and let the world and my fleshly wants control me and set the pace.
School is so much right now and I'm just pressin everyday and trustin that He'll see me through.Work is the same-I like my job right now but I know this not where I'll be forever but I praise God for a job any how.

Family {::SIGH::}yea that's all I'm gonna say {a strong person NEVA reveals the darkness of the home}But my best friend graduates on Saturday and I'm so proud of her, can't wait to get up with her again...

My future is in the hands of the one who holds my past and however He leads this thing is ok with me...
My walk is a lil confused right now-there are times when I feel like I'm right in front of God and I'm doing what He wants me to and He's pleased. Then it feels like I'm so far out of His presence and there is such a big distance between us. I just ask that as He keeps me He gives me strength to keep Him and His ways.

My conscience and other people's thoughts I guess can go hand in hand right now...in an earlier entry I said that there are some people that I have grown a love for and it hasn't changed but I find myself facinated with the way they think as well as other people-I've always been that way though and lately people have been tellin me that I'm cold and detached-although I neva really cared what anyone thought this actually got to me but I don't know how to change that so this is another thing for Him to work on.

My heart and my pride go hand in hand-the very first time I opened my heart and gave my pride the back seat I got hurt for the very first time and I'm still workin on that; tryin to forget the dreams, the convos, our similarities, our differences, the distance-the lies-the games on both our parts...I can't stress it anymore

Health-wise I'm ok for now, had a lil scare the other morning but I'm holdin on...
Guess the length of this blog can make up for time I was missin so you nosey people can get into my world for a lil while lol love yall anyway...back to these case studies though. ONE!!!
Dr. CH, MD {prayerfully}

posted by DSweet1 @ Thursday, May 19, 2005

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