<Sweet Source>

Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Sunday, July 31, 2005

From The Heart...

Some time ago, I got the idea from someone to make a post called "From Me to You" and in this post I entered 10 lil letters to some people in my life that I wouldn't say{either because I'm not really that mushy or those people were not close to me} but in talking to my father last nite I realized that as I tell these people good I have some that I need to apologize to, either because I thought something about them, I acted out against them or hurt them ...When I admit these things I can be around these people & have a clear mind and not until I've truly become sorry for it will God let me move in the things that He has set up waiting for me. So in this blog I'm taking what I feel is my first step in saying sorry to these people and hopefully one day {some sooner than others} I can actually tell these people...Here goes:

Dear...,
You wanted nothing but the best for me and I slapped you in the face over and over. We're so much alike that it irritates us both and that has caused most of our rifts. But as I've grown and learned I realized that your love for me saw past all the things I've put you through, all the nights you worried about where I was or if I was alive, everytime I lost my temper, everytime I threw something in your face, and you loved me anyway. I'm so sorry and I'm sure I'll make mistakes in the future but I thank you for loving me anyway in advance and I'm taking this time to say I'm sorry.

Dear...,
I've finally figured out what your purpose was in my life. You came in at a time where I was vulnerable and a lil distant from God and it was your job to gather me up and bring me back to Him and introduce me to the one that He needed to teach me. You saw certain things and tried to help the way you felt you should and since then I've built up a wall against you but you always tried to look over it and help some more. You are in a position that silently I want for myself and for a lil minute I wanted you removed and for that I am soooo sorry. God is using you to do great things and I thank you for being used by Him to move me but now that your job is done I understand why we aren't close and I'm sorry for anything I've ever thought negatively about u and the cold shoulder I've shown you. I apologize.

Dear...,
I've loved you since the first night we spoke and it only got stronger with time. I've finally understood why I had to meet you, I haven't figured out whether or not you should be totally dismissed from my life or not yet but I'm sure with time we'll both figure out what we should be doing...but anyway I've helped in proving that stigma they put against the men in your family while at the same time praying for your breakthrough. Forgive me for being a hypocrite and while we just had a convo about this earlier thank you for still loving me but I still feel like I need to say I'm sorry.

Dear...,
Since the minute I met you, I couldn't stand you. I don't know what it was about you that made me not like you but I just didn't. The way you seemed to think you were so big and bad just made me wish that just one time you would come out your face to me so that I would have a reason to lay you out! But it really makes no sense now because you've never done anything to me and I've grown to know the stankness about you is somewhat a wall and front and you're not that bad. While we'll probably never be friends I just want to apologize for the thoughts and whatever I've ever said against your name. I'm sorry and I wish you luck.

Dear...,
I'm sorry. I've helped in your worst pain not thinking about how you would feel or even caring about it. There was a point where I saw your tears and couldn't care because I wanted what I wanted but now I'm being attacked something serious for not caring. I've been given a burden of love for you, wanting to talk to you, even befriend you. I don't really want to because it doesn't make sense so I stay my distance. But all in all one day I will finally tell you I'm sorry and hear what I feel like you have to tell me {whichever comes first} because I get a feeling like there is something you want to say to me too but one day we'll both get it out. But please know that I am sorry and I hope you can forgive me.

Dear...,
You will forever remember the horrible thing I did to you. That mark will be with you til death {unless you get surgery} and although I felt justified in doin it I know now that there was a better way I could've handled it and for that I'm sorry. When we see eachother the air is thick but we still say "what up" to eachother through tight lips and I'm really ready for that to be over so soon I will approach you and tell you exactly what I think and feel just for you to know I'm sorry.

Dear...,
You've loved me without reason...totally and honestly...and I've given u the impression that I felt the exact same way about u and I didn't. The way I feel for you does not equal what you feel for me and because of this I've done somethings to hurt u{some you know of some you probably will never know of} and for all of the drama I've put you through I'm sorry...

If I've ever done anything to hurt, offend, or harm you in anyway or if you think any of these were for you, know that I'm sorry, with God's help I'll admit the wrong I've done and apologize and make it right, only then are you a true woman in essence anyway. Please accept my apology and let's all move forward.

Dr. C.H., MD {prayerfully}

posted by DSweet1 @ Sunday, July 31, 2005

1 Comments:

At 11:36 PM, Anonymous said…

WOW This was truely a very very big move for you Ms Lady...not a lot of females can put their pride aside long enough or far enough to actually say "I'm sorry"...and very few females will actually admit to their part in the wrongs that some of us men do, so on behalf of all the gentlemen THANK YOU FOR BEING A WOMAN!!!