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Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Season of Goodbyes

Have you ever felt a hurt so deep you had no tears to cry, no words to really express how hurt you really were, so deep you felt so worn inside, like your soul was shedding the tears your eyes wouldn't???This is one of those seasons.
I've had to walk away from some friendships just because I didn't heed the warning signs years ago. Now, the same behaviors come up AGAIN, but this time I refuse to go back through the rebuilding process just to have it crumble again. Maybe when they've matured and truly act their age then we could maybe try it again, who knows? I ain't holdin my breath.
A relationship that has been neither here nor there has been weighing me down for a while now, a lil too long. A young lady asked, "do you know what it feels like to have someone touch your soul?", I thought about that statement for a minute and realized there haven't been that many, but this one person...I've never had a person enlighten, encourage, and warm my soul with such intensity and turn around and bruise and batter it with almost the same intensity. I know I need to just walk away but it's the idea that this time might be forever is what scares me some, but the signs and the wack excuses used to cover it up pisses me off to a higher degree.
After talking to a few influential people in my life, a dream of mine has been put off for what looks like a few years. I can't explain what kind of pain this brings me, the very thought of it brings mounds of tears so I won't type on it too long. While this is not a good-bye factor, it's a 'a lil later' matter and that alone hurts...
Some of these matters, I've gotten warning signs about before about but just couldn't let it be. Now I must go through this detaching season but I know that when some things move out, more moves in and I pray that only good comes after all these good-byes.

CH

posted by DSweet1 @ Thursday, December 15, 2005

2 Comments:

At 10:45 AM, DSweet1 said…

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 11:28 AM, Tranquility826 said…

Wow..I completely understand what you're goin through..stay prayed up..I hope everything works out well!