<Sweet Source>

Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Monday, October 15, 2007

Hi my name is: DSweet1
When I'm nervous: I get very quiet
By this time next year: I will be in grad school counting down the days I leave Philly.
Last night: I saw Why Did I Get Married {good movie except for J Jackson's xxxtra dramatic scene}
Were you a planned baby? Yes
Were you the first? No
Were your parents married whn you were born? Yeah {Granny wouldn't have it any other way lol}
What is your birthdate? March 4th

THE FAMILY
Are you an only child?: No
Do you have siblings: Yes
Do you have any pets?: Yes

YOUR PERSONALITY
Do you have low self esteem? I can be my worst critic {next to Mom} but no, not really
Do you get depressed about things easily? No, there's always a 2nd solution
Are you happy right now? Yes

APPEARANCE
Are you comfortable with the way you look?: For the most part, I wish I could tame my hair a lil better lol
Describe your hair: Dark brown with auburn-honey highlights, medium length

RANDOM
Do you have a license? Finally!!!
Ever been kicked out of a bar? No

THE OUTDOORS
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors? Mainly Indoors but if its water then Outdoors all day
Do you like walking in the rain? Yes
Do you like thunderstorms? If I'm inside

FOOD
Are you a vegetarian? No
Anything you absolutely could eat forever? French Fries {the greatest creation ever!!}
What is your favorite dessert? Almost any pastry with Strawberries and Chocolate Chip Cookies {soft}

RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE
Do you want to get married? Yeah
Have you ever been in love? Yeah

RANDOM QUESTIONS
Where is your cell phone? In front of me
Your boyfriend/girlfriend? At work
Your hair? In a ponytail
Where is your father? At work {what kinda question is that lol}
You dream last night? I had about 3 different dreams :-(
Your favorite drink?: Peach Tea
Car you want?: Right now: Toyota Corolla My Dream: THE RANGE ROVER {give me 4 years}
Your fears?: Failure and repeating my parent's mistakes
Who are you hanging out with tonight?: The Mr
One of your wish list items?: M.D. behind my name and/or the Range!!!
Where did you grow up?: Brooklyn!!

posted by DSweet1 @ Monday, October 15, 2007 0 comments

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Other Side...

I've grown up around mostly men and I can now admit that as a child and most of my adolescence I lied to myself for the most part about the actual men that surrounded me...does that make sense??

I told myself that my father was a perfect family man who would bend over backward to provide for his family, who would not stop until he came up with a plan to make things better for the people he loved. I day-dreamed that he was this strong guy who knew everything and wanted and would get everything great for me and my family. And sadly, this spilled into part of my adult life and now that I can acknowledge it as my truth it's affecting the way I treat the Mr.

My father, although I won't get into too much detail, was mostly NOTHING of what I thought he was growing up. I had to see very quickly that it was not him but rather my MOTHER who was our main provider and that most of the specialties we took for granted did not come for my 'super hero' but rather mommy. She has her faults {TRUST she does} but in learning who he really was I had to give her more credit. But now I believe that learning his true character not only affects the way I look at and treat the men in my life but it also made me look at her a little different when, after 15 years he decided to come back home {sorry...yeah my dad left when i was 7 and recently moved back in with my mom}. She took him back with no questions or anything and he came right back like nothing was wrong or as if he didn't have to answer any of the questions we had brewing for more than half my life. I thought, rather I still think she's a damn fool!!! She backed down and just grinned it up but damn that, I got right in his ass and made him answer my questions, hear my pain, and acknowledge the fact that he messed up the lives of so many people and to this day, I'm still not happy or satisfied with his answers and now that I think about some of those answers I get pissed all over again. I now can never see myself allowing someone to treat me trash for soooo long and when it benefits them to allow them back into my space without so much as an apologie or Tiffany's {lol..lol}.

I believed that the 1st guy I thought I loved was the end-all-be-all. He was perfect, tall, gentle, honorable, respectful {in the beginning}, honest, made me laugh, my parents loved him, we just understood eachother and became really good friends who could tell eachother anything. Even after we realized, romantically it couldn't work at that time, we held on that probably later on down the road it would. But thank GOD He stepped in and showed me who he really was. I was forced to remove those rose colored shades and see the liar, manipulator, mean, and selfish man-whore he really was. He was no longer funny, he began to disgust me, my parents hated him, and I couldn't read him anymore. I had to admit that once again, I dressed up the shell of a mess I wanted to be a treasure.

Now that I'm with the Mr. at times I think I take it all out on him, and kinda don't expect him to get fed up lol and I know that's a problem! I don't want to trust that he loves me as much and that he'll never leave because if my father could leave and my dream could turn into a nightmare, why would I believe anyone after them. Sounds like I need to lay on someone's couch huh??? LOL I can't get it all together right now but I'm gonna work on the way I look at and love him and hopefully allow him to love me as much as he's trying. I am truely greatful for him, he has given me so much strength during this craziness with my crazy ex-roommate. We'll see, I'll keep ya posted on my progress of getting it together. lol

posted by DSweet1 @ Thursday, October 11, 2007 1 comments

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Almost Feels Like Better

Well based on my first set of quizzes and the syllabi I'm so done with DU and I'm looking forward to getting to my real work at PCOM! I think I hated Drexel so much because I wasn't doing or studying what I really wanted to do, the closest I got to it was Anat and Phys. but that just wasn't enough.
::Sigh:: That's me re-thinking everything I've gone through since I came to Philly sometimes I wish I never came but I know that there is reason for my being here so I'm just gonna run on & see what the ends gonna be {that sounded so old and southern lol}
I've filed all the papers, paid all the fees {do you know it's $80 to have the police serve someone??? on top of a $35 filing fee OMG!} but in the end, I'll get that money added on to the already $1500 I'm suing for, so THANK GOD!!
Haven't met with those two friends yet, I just don't have the time now and I'm still wondering if its worth it. I've seen them at work for a few minutes but haven't really said much to either and we never bring it up, so I still have time.
I feel really positive right now, which seems new to me right now lol, and I'm actually comfortable. Still a lil nervous about the move and finances, etc. {the usual} but I'm happy. At the end of the month the Mr and I will celebrate our 1st and it seems like we've been together for 10, so that makes me smile even more! Never thought I'd feel like this lol! I'm making a special gift for us but I can't say I think he reads this lol but does anyone have any advice for an inexpensive gift I can give to make it a lil more special???
Anyway, back to my work...WHY IS IT 90 DEGREES IN OCTOBER?!?!?

posted by DSweet1 @ Tuesday, October 09, 2007 0 comments

About Me

Name: DSweet1
Home: Philly by way of BROOKLYN, NYC/PA, United States
About Me: A newlywed/new mom starting a brand new chapter in life and determined to make life the most it can be from here on out!
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