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Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Sunday, May 29, 2005

At A Lost

I haven't written in a while and its because I really have nothing to say...I really can't bring myself to transcribe these thoughts and emotions to words. I hate this season in my life right now and I know that all things come together for the good...But I'm at a point where I feel so far from God. I know He's ever present and omniscient so there's no sense in hiding from {and I don't} but there are times when I'm out at other churches bringing His word and I feel like He's right there with me, but then I get in my secret place, my closet and I hear absolutely NOTHING!!!
I really don't believe in some of these extra deep Christians that say "The Lord told me..." {most of the time I'm like "Yea whateva"} but I do believe that when we pray and turn to the Word then He reveals somethings to us and lately I'll pray over the same 3 things and for the past 2 weeks I keep opening up to Jeremiah 3:1-10 and Hosea 1-3 and it confused me at first but then I looked in depth and it tore me apart...Am I a fake??? Does my outside reflect my inside??? There are somethings that only I and the Lord know about and in one case someone else knows and I think at times I'm gettin my behind whipped for it...
I'm workin on an inner Candace and right now I'm not sure how to really step out with it and that's something totally new to me. I always know what the next step is for me-but this is something new He's teaching me I just pray that He steadies my feet and girdles my loins for this process because He's also removed certain people from life that I used to lean on as crutches and now I can't really turn to them like I used to so I'm totally lost...GOD I HATE THIS FEELIN!!!
Dr. CH, MD

posted by DSweet1 @ Sunday, May 29, 2005

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