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Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Faithful Preacher...Confused Worrier

My mind is my zone; only I and the people I choose to reveal my thoughts to know what's going on in my head. It is my own lil sanctuary, sometimes it gets a lil crazy but it's mine but I have a problem-ever since I've been going to my church my Bishop seems to be able to read my mind and then chooses to blast my business from the pulpit!!!And today was no exception...
All week I've been studying the book of James and for some reason I can't escape it or the topic of faith. For all the mess that's goin on around me, I know that this is my season of faith testing so I've just been tryin to get a hold of my own faith thing. She preached on spiritual imprisonment and said exactly what I've been thinkin all week...Her exact words, "Preaching faith, but secretly you're worried and scared." We used to have this joke that maybe she tapped our rooms and preached on that, but I've NEVA told ANYONE this though but she said it verbatim.What do u do when u want those around u strong in the faith, yet you're struggling with the same thing?My mentor was watching me as the sermon was going on and knew right away that something was wrong, people have been asking me about how to fully lean on God, trust Him with EVERYTHING, believe that the promises He made back in biblical days still apply to this generation and I've been answering them, praying with these people for their strength, faith, and walk but inside I feel like I shouldn't say anything because I'm fighting with it.
I believe and I trust but I worry. I know He is God all by Himself and there is nothing too big for Him to handle but yet I'm anxious, and in some cases not fully confidant that I'll do well...everybody has something they gotta work through but I hate being confused about a thing, I don't like the 'semi-depressed' feelin poiette was talkin about when things 'seem' like its not gonna work and I don't exactly know what I feel, but what I hate more is the anger I get when I see other people struggle with it too because I really wouldn't want to put that on anyone. Lord, help me to grow more faithfulness.

posted by DSweet1 @ Sunday, February 26, 2006

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