| Wednesday, August 30, 2006 |
| Argh!!!! |
I just wanna scream...I wanna cuss...I wanna run away...I wanna beat the hell outta somebody
My family gets on my nerves and as much sense as it would make financially to go back to NY after graduation, I can't see it! That's as much as I can say about that right now, please just pray for these damn Jamaicans.
My heart's confused, I pride myself of intuition and decernment but I'm not sure if I'm reading the signs right or defining them all wrong. I hate this feeling and it's pissin me off and yet I don't have the fight in me right now to try to figure things out.
What the hell will I do after June '07? I realized that I was becoming overwhelmed when I began to question why I even wanted to become a doctor!!! College was nothing as I had seen it back in high school and I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing yet. How long will it take me to get out of just undergrad debt??? Which then leads to when would I even consider getting married, having children, and bringing more people into my debt.
I love life but I'm frustrated as hell right now and I wish I didn't know better so that I could just wild out and get all this out of me, but I guess I'm gonna be in someone's pilates class and workin this thing out...pray that someone doesn't say the wrong thing to me!
Dear Lord, it's me again |
posted by DSweet1 @ Wednesday, August 30, 2006  |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, August 22, 2006 |
| The future... |
Anal me decided to make up a bulleted list of where I should be in the next 10 years and then realized that I really don't have control over the next ten years and Mr Man told me it makes no sense to make plans for 10 years from now if I'm gonna stress myself out and not make it to see 10 years from now {lol i hate how cut throat and right he is}but of course I didn't listen completely, so...
They've changed the MCATs to computerized exams and they're making it a little shorter, so the easy questions are straight out the window. I took a practice one and did ok, 23, my aim is a 27-29 but OrgChem and I have NEVER been friends. Ahhh well we'll just pray on that one.
If I'm not one of the 16,000 in the 65,000 applicants applying to med school, I'll be covered. I'm taking the GREs as well and the back up plan is to become a Physician's Assistant which is just like a doctor just without the malpractice insurance and the MD. This hurt me when my advisor first suggested it but with all the debt I'll be in leaving DU and then Grad school with I think working a while without malpractice and every other fine/insurance/etc. will be better in the long run. I'll pay off DU and where ever I go for Grad and then find my way into someone's MD program because TRUST the dreams don't stop at PA!!! Everyone's not too excited about my #1 school for both Med and Grad school, Emory University, because it's all the way in Atlanta but I'm slowly falling in love with the school and the environment. Of course NY is my #1 choice and I really would HATE to stay in philly any longer but Emory is looking sweet. Ahhhh another Jesus thing... |
| posted by DSweet1 @ Tuesday, August 22, 2006 |
|
|
|
| Monday, August 21, 2006 |
| Soul Tie |
I used to hear people talk about it and it's been on my mind alot lately so I decided to do research on it {that's the BioChem major in me}
Some theorists say that a bond is formed when two entities come together on an alchemical level through which both parties involved take on the characteristics of the other sharing with each other a deeper part of themselves that no one else can experience. The exchange of emotions is so strong that they become an all encompassing phenomenon which brings about a deeper understanding and involvement of the two entailed thus joining the souls of the two. Sometimes this kind of soul tie can be the greatest blessing two individuals can experience in life but while it can be a blessing it can also be destructive when for some reason or another one component is removed. What isn’t understood sometimes is that while one may leave, that bond is still thriving, living off of the memory bank that had begun to fill up before the separation. So the deviant element may wander, looking for what seems to be a missing piece and never finding that completing factor because there’s a tie it has formed with a previous body that he tries to compare all new encounters. On the other hand, the other lost portion finds itself wandering looking for something to fill the new formed gap, busying itself with everything in creation longing for the return of the memory, craving just the touch of that which was. Is it destiny that forces this broken tie to come back to its original structure or is it a synthetic force that draws souls that would be better off separated than joined into an abyss of heartache with just a hope of a ‘one day’ happiness? {trust you'll see this again somewhere ;-)}
But is it possible for one to ignore the memory of a soul tie and form more than one? and if so are you then tied to every soul tie your partner has? Pastor Jamal Bryant actually preached on this yesturday, 'Because Eve ate the apple, she was cursed to endure pain during child birth but because she and Adam shared a soul tie, God saw them as ONE and if He punished one he had to punish the other and so man was made to work for what once was already his {farming, etc.}'. So if I formed a soul tie to someone, even if we aren't together, our souls are linked so what he does might be affecting what happens to me??? But then what happens to those loose chicks that sleep with everyone, are they walking around cursing everyone they sleep with and not knowing it? This thing is so scary, not sure if I wanna think about it anymore... |
| posted by DSweet1 @ Monday, August 21, 2006 |
|
|
|
| Saturday, August 05, 2006 |
| Scenarios |
I haven't really been motivated to write anything and when I kinda am, I have no time. I'm still working like a slave and even got another position at Hanehmann shadowing a surgical resident for 4 credits!!! {yeah me! :-) lol} and every weekend, if I'm not picking up more hours at the hospital, I'm city hopping. Last weekend I was in Miami, and two weekends before that I was in Atlanta, next weekend I'm going home to surprise mommy for her bday but the weekend right after that I'm headed back to Atl {my future there looks a lil more promising}, I will also conquer Vegas and St. Thomas by my next bday, anyone up for it, you're willing to join me, I would love a girl's get-away too (hmmm, something to think about).
I'm starting to think "grown up" thoughts as in looking into post Grad/Med School, I will def need a car after I graduate if not before, and I'm actually looking into real estate prospects and property down south is so much cheaper than anywhere else {but shhhh don't say anything until I land one ;-) lol}, as well as stock investing {i'll leave that to my brother}.
I tend to do a lot of self-evaluations {hey, if u can't tell urself what's screwed up about u, it'll hurt alot more when someone you can't stand points it out and is right...just my philosophy} Anyway, I found out a few more things about myself that I'm still not totally sure if I'm totally sold on:
1-Can all future relationships be based/classified/or prosperous because of just ONE?
2-In trusting anyone are you purposefully leaving yourself open to being hurt?
3-I believe adamantly that just because you would give up your left lung for your "friend", u don't have the right to get mad when they don't see anything wrong with not doing the same but can that really be a friend or just an associate? should u have to "cover your own ass" when it comes to someone who calls u their best friend?
Here's a scenario that has pissed me off for the past week, one of my girls back home has this "best friend" that she became closed to out of what I think must've been need (too much to explain). Well they decided to move in together which a lot of people were a little against about, it seemed to work and they got along fine. Well one day, she asked her friend to wake her up because she was finishing a project late the night before and wanted to make a good impression on her new job. Not only does her friend wake her up late but she left her to get to her job which is two blocks up from hers. Anyway, when she gets to work and their sitting down to lunch a co-worker who joined them asked her friend "So, how do you like your car?" and she says, "I love it!". So not only did she have to take 2 trains in the heat of New York {yes this was the tip of the heat wave} but she didn't even have to, her "best friend" had a car and she was on the train!!!
Is that really your friend??? {this has been the question from us-her real friends all week} or is it that different people have a different code of loyalty?
Ok, I think that's it...
1 |
| posted by DSweet1 @ Saturday, August 05, 2006 |
|
|
|
|
| About Me |
|
![]()
Name: DSweet1
Home: Philly by way of BROOKLYN, NYC/PA, United States
About Me: A newlywed/new mom starting a brand new chapter in life and determined to make life the most it can be from here on out!
See my complete profile
|
| Previous Post |
|
| Archives |
|
|
| Shoutbox |
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Duis ligula lorem, consequat eget, tristique nec, auctor quis, purus. Vivamus ut sem. Fusce aliquam nunc vitae purus. |
| Links |
|
|
| Powered by |
 |
|
