There is a repetitive question being asked over and over and over again in my head: "Lord do you even care??? Where are you???"
Sometimes I hate talkin to Christians, as weird as that sounds, but most of them wanna think they know everything, but when you pose a question all they can tell you is "Awww pray about it" :-( now prayer changes things, yes I know, but there are times when you just wanna hear a word and you think these people know and THEY DON'T...guess I can't really be too mad, they're human too, but damn if they don't act like they Jesus bro./sis. sometimes...
Today was an actual weird day for me emotionally {I can't even verbalize what was going on with me} and I began talkin to God outta no where like He was right in front of me {I wasn't even whispering, I was talkin out loud like he was RIGHT HERE-thank God my roomies weren't here they'da ask for a new apartment lol} and I kept hearing "Put it in my hands" but I kept asking "HOW???" and I really still ain't get an answer so I did what I do best in these situations-I began to write and this flowed out...hope yall can get this one this time D!!! lol...lol
They tell me leave it in Your hands and watch what You'll do But how do I step out of my heart? Exactly how do I give it all to you? It seems no-one can help me, I'm in this fight alone. Exactly how am I to just give it up and just not care anymore? When I cry tear after tear and feel my heart-rip, shudder, and tear How do I say "To Heaven with it!" When here on Earth I feel like I'm gonna lose it? Father, hear my heavy moans and ease these relentless groans. Show me thy light, dear Lord lead me safely home...
Dr. CH, MD |
