<Sweet Source>

Words in Ripples...

...a destiny of streams, a reality of rivers, a hope for oceans, but a vision of seas...

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Set Apart

I was born in what is now the worst projects in Brooklyn {crime-wise}, we moved outta there to a better part of town which is still considered the #5 most violent areas in Brooklyn, I went to one of the hardest high schools in the city where almost everyday some Blood was tryin to press some Crip and vice versa, and I chilled with niggas from BOTH sides...HOWEVER-I was raised in the church, the Bible was the first book I learned to read, I've held many positions in the church, built up what is now one of the largest youth community service groups in NY-The Central Brooklyn Leos, I wasn't allowed to go out on the weekdays, at one point it seemed like I lived at my church, I couldn't hang out on the corner after a certain time, and certain guys just weren't allowed to speak to me.
Although I rebelled and did what I wasn't supposed to I always felt a lil funny and nothin totally bad eva happened to me but lately I've been thinkin about some of the things that are goin on in my life right, where I'm tryin to be after I leave Drexel so of course I started thinkin about this long way I've traveled in my life and the recurring theme of this chapter is: I SHOULD BE DEAD!!! I'm not even exaggerating this, I called my best friend to tell her and she said she knew that a long time ago, her exact words: "Shug we BOTH should've been clapped a long time ago. Either shot or beat to death" Janet is normally a blunt and brutally honest person {and I love her for it} but this shook me up a lil bit...
One thing I'm famous for tellin people, especially Tasha is "Who know betta, do betta" but I've found that I'm not following my own advice all the way. I've done, and still do some things I know I shouldn't and I don't want anyone to get this twisted, I'm not tryin to say my salvation is any better than your own, but I feel that I didn't do what everyone was doin when I was younger because I was different, when everyone was gettin tattooed and gettin pierced I didn't because I couldn't {the Bible said I couldn't and my father woulda knocked the ring off and my mother beat the tattoo outta my skin..lol}, I wasn't sleepin around at 16 & 17 and younger firstly I knew that the guys I was dealin with could not afford my engagement ring, so really what's the point...lol..just playin but that wasn't something I was into then and thinkin back on it HE was the reason...
I believe God kinda set me apart and made me different, I couldn't do what everyone was doin because I'm NOT like everyone else but with this I feel like because of some of the things I do that I know I shouldn't, I get punished pretty badly...When I figure things are going fine with something, I manage to do something and He snatches the calm right out of it to put me back on my knees... I just wished I could get it together in that part of my life and everything would be straight...

Please just say a prayer for me...i need it now
CH

posted by DSweet1 @ Wednesday, September 21, 2005

1 Comments:

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